


back to the start

by orphan_account



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 18:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21201878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “What would you give to save her?”Tom has the feeling that he is at a crossroads. That whatever he says next will influence his life in unprecedented ways. But he knows what his answer is. Even with Sybbie and his new “family,” even with all the splendor of Downton, Tom could never truly be happy. Not without Sybil. Maybe it’s selfish, but Tom knows what his answer is, what it will always be.“Everything.”





	back to the start

Tom can’t sleep. He hasn’t been able to, not since Sybil’s… death. Everything just feels wrong without her there. 

After an hour of tossing and turning in bed, Tom decides to walk to the nursery. He tells himself it’s to check on Sybbie, but he knows it’s an excuse. He just doesn’t want to be there anymore. Not when all of his thoughts keep turning to Sybil and what-ifs and should-have-dones.

When Tom gets to the nursery, the light is off. The nurse has taken her leave for the night, and with Clarkson’s guarantee of Sybbie’s health, there’s no need to watch over her at all times. Besides, Tom’s room is close enough to the nursery that he’d immediately hear if Sybbie started crying.

Sybbie is sleeping peacefully in her crib. Tom gently picks her up, careful not to wake her. He sits down in a chair nearby and just holds her. Sometimes he feels that if he didn’t have Sybbie, there’d be nothing to prevent him from completely falling apart.

As he sits in silence, Tom feels his eyes closing, exhaustion finally overtaking him. He tries to fight it, certain he’ll only be haunted by memories of that terrible night, but before Tom knows it, he’s fallen asleep.

.

.

.

_ Tom doesn’t know where he is. He assumes this is a dream, because nothing here would make sense if it wasn’t.  _

_ The landscape in this place keeps shifting. One second a bustling street, the next a secluded orchard somewhere in the countryside, a cottage by the sea, a scorching desert. It’s so fast that Tom can catch only a glimpse of each scene before it changes. _

_ Tom sees movement out of the corner of his eye and turns. There’s another person there.  _

_ For the life of him, Tom can not tell what the person looks like. Even as he sees them, he forgets their distinguishing features. They could be anyone. _

_ The person walks closer to him and speaks in a voice that is neither high nor low. Neither gravel nor nasal. But it isn’t neutral either. Just like the person, it simply is.  _

_ “Hello Tom.” _

_ Tom wants to ask how the person knows him, but for some reason he feels that it would be a silly question. _

_ “Hello. What am I doing here?” _

_ The landscape finally stops changing, settling on a view that looks suspiciously like Downton. However, unlike Downton, it’s completely empty. Devoid of life. As if everyone on the estate has just left for some reason. _

_ “Do you love your wife?” The person asks, drawing Tom’s attention back to them. _

_ What kind of question is that. Of course Tom loves Sybil. She is- was the light of his life. He doesn’t think he’ll ever love anyone as much as he loves her. Tom opens his mouth to say that, but is cut off by the person. _

_ “What would you give to save her?” _

_ Tom has the feeling that he is at a crossroads. That whatever he says next will influence his life in unprecedented ways. But he knows what his answer is. Even with Sybbie and his new “family,” even with all the splendor of Downton, Tom could never truly be happy. Not without Sybil. Maybe it’s selfish, but Tom knows what his answer is, what it will always be. _

_ “Everything.” _

_ Tom doesn’t know what he expects after he makes his declaration, but the person just snaps their fingers. For a moment nothing happens, but then Tom feels himself falling and falling and falling. He’s not sure if he’ll ever land. _

_ . _

_ . _

_ . _

Tom wakes up in his cottage at dawn. He drags himself out of bed with a groan. Technically he could stay in bed for just a bit longer, but it’s his second day on the job and he wants to make sure he stays on good terms with his employers. 

As Tom gets ready, he notices a letter on his desk. He searches his memory for what it could be before remembering that it’s from Kieran, asking for money for his car repair business. Tom doesn’t know how Kieran and the Crawleys are going to deal with each other when the christening comes around.

Tom blinks. That was an odd thought. Tom doesn’t have any children who’d need to be christened. Especially not with any of the Crawley sisters. He almost laughs at the idea. Him with one of their kind, it’s ridiculous. Although that Lady Sybil seems better than the rest.

That reminds Tom, he needs to go take Lady Sybil to the dressmaker today to get a new frock. She hadn’t seemed that excited yesterday, but it’s not Tom’s place to care about her feelings. Nevertheless, with how she supports women’s rights, Tom wants to encourage that, since he doubts anyone in her family will. That sort of passion doesn’t deserve to just fade away into nothing.

Tom picks up a few pamphlets he found in town and stuffs them into his bag. He can give them to her on the drive. The thought of interacting with Lady Sybil makes him excited for some reason, but he tells himself it’s nothing more than satisfaction at having found another politics minded person to speak with.

As Tom makes his way to the garage, he tries to ignore the awful sense of familiarity of it all. It feels as if he’s been working there for years rather than a single day. But that would be impossible. Tom’s not planning to stay on past a year. He wants to make something of himself, not just stay a chauffeur forever.

Tom brings the car around to the front and waits for Lady Sybil to come out. When she does, he has to stop himself from audibly gasping. She looks beautiful, as she always does. And Tom should not be thinking that, since he’s only met her once before. But still, he cannot deny the fact that he has feelings for her. Which is strange, because people only fall for others so quickly in novels or fairy stories.

Lady Sybil smiles kindly as Tom helps her into the car. He feels his heart flutter. This is going to be a problem.

**Author's Note:**

> Tom may get his memories back soon, but until then he's going to be confused about why he's 100% in love with this girl he's just met. Also I know this fandom is like dead but I was rewatching the show and really wanted to write this.


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